They say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I’ve decided to clone myself five times and only spend time with them, thus being the average of myself. Imagine if there was an exact clone of you and you had to hang out with that clone for extended periods of time. I think I’d attack the guy within an hour.
The real point of this thoughtscatter is this:
Cops are enlightened boddhisatvas, soldiers of Vishnu with bodhicitta hearts here on earth to awaken the people.
First of all, they are in blue. ‘The thin blue line.’ In Buddhism, blue conveys a feeling of infinity, purity, health, ascension and coolness. Buddhists believe that if you meditate on this color when you are angry, that anger will turn into wisdom and intelligence. Thus, cops provoke our anger in order for us to transform it into deeper insights – modern day alchemists! The beautiful sirens coming from their publicly funded chariots are modern-day singing bowls, calling us to the attention of the present moment whenever our ears are graced by them. When we’re eating dinner on a patio under the quiet star-speckled canvas of night, we can’t help but stop what we’re doing and get present as the gorgeous, immaculate vehicles of the Dharma blur by at the speed of enlightenment, filling our ears with wails of nirvana.
The other day I was pulled over. “Do you know why I pulled you over?” the divine man asked. Aha, a zen koan to solve! I had always heard the phrase “when the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Well, here he is! “I’m afraid I don’t,” I said with a beaming smile, eagerly awaiting his wisdom. “You were going 98 in a 35. Inexcusably fast.” Aha! This was an altruistic gesture by the cop, a gesture reminding me to live a slower, more mindful life. I realized, then, I had in fact been going through the motions of my daily, menial life. Alas, I am not always ready to receive wisdom that calls my ego into question, so I lunged at him. The cop wrestled me to the ground and kept shouting, “Stop resisting! Stop resisting!” His mantra awakened an awareness in me that I have, in fact, been resisting myself and the uncomfortable emotions within. How often we resist life! After a five minute tussle, he then asked me, “Do you have any weapons or illegal substances on your person?” The verbiage he used was a stark reminder that I am not my physical body, and that this is just a “person” I am piloting around. Now, I wouldn’t exactly agree with the use of “your” person, because I don’t own “my” person. I think an improved phrasing would be, “Are there any weapons or illegal substances on this person?” but I digress. After he found all of my drugs and daggers, he placed my person in handcuffs, presumably to give me a symbolic yet visceral reminder that, as long as we have a body, we are bound to this material realm and its follies. I feel like he really cares. This was further driven home by the metal cell I was placed in that night, a metaphor for the physical realm chaining us from transcendence. I think all of our taxes should go to this kind of stuff.
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