Whenever I part ways with someone, or see someone the following day after spending time with them, and they say, "That was fun," it always takes me a little bit by surprise. While 99% of the time I agree with the sentiment and will vocalize my disagreement if needed, I never take time to reflect on whether or not something was fun. The concept of "fun" seems very elusive to me. I feel like it's been a main quest of mine to find it: fun. When someone says "that was fun," my ears prick up, and my fun senses start to vaguely tingle. It's like a clue, and my mind reacts accordingly: 'Ahh, so that was fun. I'm getting a fuller picture here,' I think. But I'm still not quite sure what fun is. Sometimes when someone says, "that was really fun," after we do something together, I'll think, "Really?" in bewilderment. Not because I disagree - I suppose I'm just surprised. Sometimes I want to go, "Why?" but I don't want to sound rude. I'm treating it like a Sherlock Holmes or Nancy Drew, walking around in a trenchcoat and smoking a pipe, taking notes on tracking down fun.
I'm in search of fun, but I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Is fun a particular sensation? Is it in your chest, your biceps, or your scalp? Is it a state of being, like a flow state, where you've been swept away in the moment and lost track of time? That sometimes happens to me when I'm reading, but I'm not sure if that qualifies as fun. Is it an action? Let's do fun. Is fun just another word for a feeling, like enjoyment? Is fun an end? Oftentimes I operate like it's the latter. It's a little challenging for me to exit a situation because I feel like I need to make sure we've reached fun. If we haven't reached adequate fun, how can I leave?
I do mildly like the band Fun, as self-important of a name as it is. Surprised it wasn't taken. I'd think that would've been one of the first names to be taken, after the name Music or North Korean Tourism Board.
Something marketed as "fun for the whole family" isn't fun for anyone.
When someone asks me, "did you have fun" after a function, I think for a moment, pat down my pockets as if I'm making sure my wallet's there, and say, "Yeah, I think so." I'm not sure if I've ever had fun at a party, as I'm spending most of my energy trying to get through it without totally collapsing. I await the reports of others the next day to get a read on how the party was.
Does the amount of laughs per minute quantify the level of fun that's being had? The amount of stories? The level of adrenaline? I've heard it said that people have different ideas of fun. I'm not sure what mine is. I saw a craigslist post that said "single mom looking for fun" the other day. I replied to the post with, "Yeah me too," but then she asked for money in order to have fun with her. I've never heard of anyone charging money just to have fun. What does she consider fun? I wasn't going to pay to find out. On the quest for fun there can be many grifters out there.
Saying "have fun" is the same as saying "engage your core." Have I really ever done either? There's always a feeling of vagueness and uncertainty in me with both of these concepts. "I think I had fun," I'll ponder after a get-together. "I think I was kind of engaging my core, but I'm not sure," I'll wonder after a workout. The same applied to all of the EMDR sessions I went through with my therapist. “Go in and talk to your child self.” 15 seconds pass before she checks, “Is he there?” How am I supposed to find the child inside me in 15 seconds?! Every session I have no idea what I’m looking for or if I’m doing it right. I express this. “There’s not really a right way,” she says. What am I paying you for then?
I get a kick out of when someone, usually at a workplace or stressful situation says, "Having fun yet?" in an effort to acknowledge the misery being felt in that moment. I whispered this to a guy at a funeral one time and it was not received well.
I also like when someone's not enjoying themselves as much as another person during an activity, and the other person says, "Come on, this is fun!" as if to convince the other that there's this invisible presence called fun in the vicinity that they're not seeing. It'd be the same as someone saying "Come on, this is haunted!" at night in an abandoned mansion to their skeptical friend. "Come on, this is sad!"
"What do you do for fun?" is also a tricky one to answer. I let out a big sigh when someone asks that. I feel like they're expecting me to say, "Skydive, go to rock and roll concerts, drive my hot rod, stir up trouble, you know." Instead I usually get in their face and say "What do YOU do for fun? Huh? HUH??"
I do strongly believe I've been having a lot of fun lately. A lot of enjoyment and good feelings. Being around people, good people, is fun. As a way of looking at it, I think everything's fun. And I sincerely hope you're having fun.
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