The vast majority of the human-constructed world is held together by nuts, bolts and screws. The stability of our nation operates under an unspoken honor system and trust that we will not tear down the walls of our neighbor. With one drill we may start a revolution.
When I am in a supermarket (unironically my favorite place), I think about how I could deconstruct the whole interior: the shelving, the doors, displays, etc. Since it is unlikely that anyone would join me in this quest of deconstruction, I would have to slowly loosen all of the screws and bolts over time without anyone noticing, entering Safeway daily with a screwdriver or wrench, unwinding everything until the whole building is wobbling. Then, one day, finish the job and take the whole thing apart. Then, put the pile of Safeway on a flatbed truck and bring it to Goodwill to donate. ‘Red Tag Sale – Safeway store – 50% off, assembly required. Employees sold separately.’
If I were president and I had to wage war, I would not use conventional weapons. I would send in thousands of soldiers with drills, hammers, and crowbars, to neatly disassemble the entire opposition country. This would be much less destructive, and much more eco-friendly, which we need, since the military is the biggest polluter on the planet. We would simply take apart the opposition’s cities and procure them until they capitulated. “Where did North Korea go?” “Nebraska.” “What do you mean?” “It’s in a warehouse in Kearney.”
I wish I paid more attention when I helped my Dad work on cars as a kid, because I’d also like to deconstruct every motorized vehicle in the world. I loathe cars. A subject for another time. Very heated.
I would like to disassemble Denver and put it in a storage unit. I do not like the way it is constructed. I do not like the concept of Denver. I do not subscribe to the abstract notion of it. I would like to carefully take it apart wall by wall like a fragile LEGO set and put it in a box. Then, I’d like to put it in someone’s attic until a curious child finds it in 50 years, blows the dust off and builds it how they want.
Until then, Pomainville, formerly known as Denver, will be built by the people, for the people. No zoning laws, no land ownership, no property value. If you have wood, stone, or some other organic material, and you have the gumption, you are free to build a structure where you please. No feudal landlords, no gatekeepers in business-casual wear asking for two million dollars for access to an upscale box while there are thousands without a roof over their heads. That’s so ten minutes ago. In Pomainville you can simply go up to someone and say, “Hey, just so you know, I’m going to put up a structure here,” and start building. I mean, you don’t have to say anything, but here it’s considered the neighborly thing to do. If the others don’t agree, they can deconstruct your building, and vice versa.
I’d like to put a Target in the middle of a Walmart. Right inside, in the center. With a parking lot. You walk through the vast Walmart parking lot, enter the Walmart, grab a cart, start going down Aisle 1. You look over, there’s another parking lot. In the distance, a big red Target store. It’s surrounded by fluorescently lit Walmart aisles. Someone is somehow driving around inside the Walmart looking for a spot in the Target parking lot. The omnipresent Walmart roof covers the whole thing. A red-uniformed crew frantically rushes past you pushing a gurney with an injured man on it. “Triage, triage!” they yell. Ah, yes. Target has expanded their medical services. Not only do they have eye doctors, now they have emergency rooms.
Stop by your local hardware store and become a revolutionary today.
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